The family of Le's fiance, Jonathan Widawsky, released a statement Thursday through their synagogue, Temple Beth El in Huntington, New York.
"We share in the grief of the family of Annie Le and are, collectively, doing our best to deal with our tragic loss," the statement said. "... We want to thank all those who have been involved in our preparations for a wedding that was not to be for their quiet understanding."
The Widawskys said they will not be attending religious services in the future "in order to facilitate the safety, security and sensitivity of High Holiday services at our temple ... it is a difficult time, and we ask that you allow our fellow congregants, in this holiest of seasons, to pray in peace. And we ask that you pray for the soul of Annie Le, and for healing, for her family, for Jonathan and for our family."
The family requested privacy "for the moment," but added, "Annie will live in our hearts forever."
Cantor Sandra Sherry forwarded the statement to media outlets, noting that "we are entering our holiest season from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur, known as the Days of Awe."
Sherry said she would have officiated at Le and Widawsky's wedding.
As a Jew, I find something very ironic, poignant and bittersweet about these statements and the timing of Ms. Le's murder. As the cantor from Temple Beth El stated, these holidays are the most reverent in the Jewish calendar. They encourage reflection, introspection, repentance. And because of the nature of the New Year (Rosh Hashanah) and the Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur), I have, in the past, focused mainly on myself, how to be happier, how to achieve my goals, how to be a better daughter and be nicer to my brother.
However, I never seem to focus on compassion. Being a good person is different. Most of us strive to the "right" thing by society's standards, but true compassion comes from within someone's soul and is a gift. It is the desire to not want others to suffer the way we have because we can feel their pain.
I consider myself a deeply compassionate and sensitive person. Nevertheless, during the High Holidays for some reason, those traits aren't at the forefront in my mind. My mind is counting the minutes until I leave the synagogue, checking off people in my mind that I should be nicer to this year, and honestly, trying not to fall asleep (though plenty around me already are).
The recent murder at Yale has made me feel that perhaps we have it wrong. It's not only about asking God for forgiveness and atoning for our "sins, or fasting on Yom Kippur to purify our souls, but rather, doing right by others. Keeping the tragedy of someone else's life in our hearts, even if that person is a complete stranger. Compassion resonates deep within our souls, and truly makes us better people, while Making a checklist of our sins doesn't make us better people, and our lists are often forgotten as quickly as we make them.
My heart lies with the family of Annie Le and Jonathan Widawsky. Like his own congregation, I will be praying for his peace of mind, happiness and strength and for that of his fiance's family. I don't know him or his family and had never met Le or her family either. Nor do I know anyone who has, and yet, I feel obligated to remember and honor their grief. To me, that is more important than my own wrongdoings. These two families are suffering more than anyone deserves. What right do I have to focus on my own flaws, when others are experiencing the unthinkable.
It is not a Shana Tova for the family of Jonathan Widawsky or Annie Le.
