Your Child Isn't Mine

It never ceases to amaze me how amazing the staff is at the Starbucks on the corner of 81st and Broadway. I go there almost every day, and they are consistently friendly, patient and bend over backwards to make their customers happy. This is why I insist on making my daily visits, and yet, these daily drop-ins have enabled me to see how obnoxious the customers are in my neighborhood. I absolutely love living on the UWS but wish that spoiled rich people had their own burrough.

Let's start with the loud teenage girls who wear $200 Tory Birch flats and tote around their IPhones in Coach and Marc Jacobs bags. Is it really necessary to twirl your hair, talk loudly and make fun of other customers loud enough for the bankers at Chase to hear 2 blocks away? No, actually, surprisingly enough, you can keep the customers and the whole neighborhood perfectly content if you are respectful and speak with a normal, human tone using normal phrases. I for one, don't want my yearning for Iced Tea or a blueberry scone spoiled by a squealing conversation about Facebook updates and graduation hook-ups.

As if their presence isn't annoying enough, let's move on to the moms and their young children and newborns. Okay, here's the deal: the kids can be really cute. The babies are often cuter. The strollers are even more beautiful and probably cost more than my rent. However, none of this gives moms, and I say moms because the dads are often more aware of their surroundings, the right to be rude to other people. It doesn't take much to thank someone for holding the door open for your huge Baby Bjorn (me), nor is it rocket science to move your stroller out of the way when I walk over to get my drink from the counter. Just because your stroller takes up half the space of the floor area doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to maneuver my way to get milk and splenda. It's not my fault you're schlepping around a device 3 times the size of your kid. Be courteous, please.

Perhaps the worst thing about the parent/child phenomenon at this particular location is the complete negligence of teaching a young child manners. Here's a true story. I was on line once and a young boy was in front of me with his mom. He kept backing up into me to point to the food he wanted in the display case (the line ran parallel to the counter), and I mean LITERALLY you would think we were joined at the hip. It was so annoying that I had to fight from saying something to him, but eventually I just had to ask him to stop. HOWEVER, even though his mother could clearly see that he was annoying me, as it would bother anyone in the same position, she never asked him to be aware of his surroundings or to simply stop. It was as if I were invisible. News flash lady: YOUR CHILD ISN'T MINE.

However, I would never blame the child in a scenario like this one, as frustrated as I may get. He didn't know any better and wasn't trying to bother me--he couldn't have been more than six. I was pissed at the adult. Why she didn't try to take the opportunity to teach her son manners and appropriate behavior is beyond my comprehension. Unfortunately, this happens all too often, especially with wealthier families. At least in my neighborhood. There, I said it.

I know that those of you with children are going to roll your eyes at me and tell me I don't understand how stressful it can be to be a parent and how strollers are heavy and children are often uncontrollable at young ages. I would not disagree. In fact, I am sure when I have kids, because I DO adore children, I will be dealing with all of these stresses and more. The difference is that I will not let my child run into people on a crowded line in a New York City Starbucks and shout the name of the pastry he wants. Nor would I expect someone walking by me to go out of his or her way to avoid my stroller, because, God forbid, I should be just as considerate.